I am now on hospitalized bedrest, until around Thanksgiving or whenever the baby comes. Our January 31st, 2016 due date is just too far away, and apparently this kid wants to be a 2015 baby.
On Wednesday, October 14th I went into to my MFM appointment for our regularly scheduled every-other-week cervical length ultrasound, and unfortunately it was discovered that the pessary is indeed not working and at 24 weeks and 3 days, I was already dilated 1-2cms evidence on both TransV ultrasound and speculum exams. My amniotic sac is still intact but visible, so we are doing everything to ensure it does not break yet. The outcomes based on gestational age are pretty terrifying at this point.
Immediately I was hooked up to fetal heart rate and contraction monitors which fortunately showed we were not in labor and there were no contractions and baby was doing great. She is measuring huge, already at 1 lb 14 ounces (93rd percentile) which, coupled with being a girl, puts her in a more favorable odds category. Thank the Lord! Typically being just 24 weeks, viability is possible but low, with huge potential for permanent disability. Terrifying but feeling grateful we have at least made it to the point where if she were born today, we would be able to use medical intervention to try and save her (most hospitals will not before 24 weeks). Cerebral Palsy is the greatest risk right now, with 67% of 24 weeker survivors facing moderate to severe CP disability.
After being admitted to Labor and Delivery, we kept the monitors on, did lots and lots (and then some more) blood tests, hooked me up to an IV for ampicillin, switched progesterone, and received the two doses of antecorticolsteroids for the baby's lungs and brain. I am on circulation monitors and have been meeting with physical therapists (typically you lose about 15% of muscle mass per week on hospiatlized bed rest) as well as pulmonary monitoring and training. The pessary is still in place, but one of the most heartbreaking moments was when Dr. D admitted that in retrospect with where we are now, she wishes she would have guided us down the cerclage route. #PessaryFail After agonizing so greatly, there is a hint of defeat in the air but trying to stay positive.
We worked with a great Neonatologist yesterday (just transferred from Georgetown Hospital so a piece of DC with me!) to prepare ourselves for the worst case scenario and receive a professional outlook on our options. While I had asked for "goals" knowing that 28 weeks significantly reduces our risks and viability is close to 90%, I was taken back a bit when they told me to just focus on getting through the next few days. Every day matters at this stage, improving viability by 2-3%. So now I am celebrating each 1% at every 12 hours (solo ha ha) every morning at 7am and at 7pm PST - one more % point in the right column!
We have a long journey ahead. I will be here through early November at the very least, if not Thanksgiving also. The most difficult part to swallow is being away from Grace who is being taken care of by my awesome parents- I have no doubt she will be spoiled beyond belief :) It is tough only seeing her for an hour a day, and not even being able to pick her up, but she is a good sport and hasn't been too afraid of the noisy machines or hospital setting. Grant has been superdad managing everything for the house, the baby and even packing up my toiletries so I can feel somewhat human here. And Kellydog is camping out at my brother Patrick's house where undoubtedly she is having such a blast running around with his wife Simone she will never want to come back! As we just closed on our new house on Tuesday, I am quite saddened by the realization that Grant and Grace will be moving into our new home without me, but scouring Houzz and Pinterest for design ideas is sure to kill some time :)
Thank you for your continued prayers! I have never been so scared in my life but fortunately feel blessed to have this amazing support network who has been critical to our entire family. And, if anyone is up for a game of WordsWithFriends, I now have tons of time to kill... but forewarning, I am really really good :)