One of the most trying issues we have faced with both friends and family is finding the words and ways to support when they face loss through miscarriage. Nothing seems to be right. There are no words, just lots of emotion. Amazon has plenty of books, but all seem impersonal. Flowers are a lovely gesture, but they wilt and die which metaphorically isn't a great option either. Having never been in the shoes of these families, all seems inadequate but I am always on the look out as my loved ones and their loss are always on my mind.
Most recently, I have been sharing the book, "I'll Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch as I had been told by a friend that Munsch had actually written the book after he and his wife lost their child to miscarriage. A childhood favorite that I have frequently read to Grace, the book held such a powerful meaning once I clicked over to his website that read:
“I made that up after my wife and I had two babies born dead. The song was my song to my dead babies. For a long time I had it in my head and I couldn’t even sing it because every time I tried to sing it I cried. It was very strange having a song in my head that I couldn’t sing.
For a long time it was just a song but one day, while telling stories at a big theatre at the University of Guelph, it occurred to me that I might be able to make a story around the song.
Out popped Love You Forever, pretty much the way it is in the book.”
In the same vein, today I came across the Molly Bear on the Incompetent Cervix Facebook Page. Molly Bears is a 501c3 run on donations. While the cost to make and send each bear is around $45, the weighted bears have just a $20 fee. I applaud the model and philanthropic effort and hope to see the business grow as it is a beautiful example of thoughtfulness when there is a loss of words.