The Fall of Google Shopping Express- The Hardest Break Up I've Ever Faced

I admit, I stole this from Google Images. Take that Google! 

I admit, I stole this from Google Images. Take that Google! 

Dear Google Shopping Express,

I don't want to break up - there have been so many fond memories of joy - but it is time. Our relationship started off with ease - just inserting a few credit card #s and an address, within 3 hours I had goodies from Costco and Target delivered to my door - whether here in Silicon Valley or in D.C. Like a teenager with a fresh crush, I raved about you to friends and family. But alas, all good things must come to an end. 

Relationships are based on loyalty - and man, I have been loyal - literally thousands of dollars spent as we moved cross country and got our new home set-up, Grace's tricycle for her birthday from Toys R us, the hiking backpack for Grant for Father's Day from REI, and just about every Christmas present. I chose you over Amazon as you promised a 3 hour delivery window. 

And it wasn't just the big stuff. I started to depend on you for my SkinnyPop, Green Tea and dog food. I loved that you would leave the odds and ends on my doorstep while I was at the NICU visiting Emme- one less errand during a time of need- and all ordered with a few clicks on your seamless app.

But relationships are also about dependability.

I laughed when I ordered packs of veggie straws and you delivered Cheetos. Or when I ordered Pampers Swaddlers size 3 and you brought me Cruisers size 5 (okay I laughed and cried a little here). When I received the email on October 30th that you were beginning to charge a small fee for some deliveries and requiring a minimum order, it made sense. I completely understood that you didn't want to only deliver $7 infant tylenol when my child had a fever - I'd pay any fee to get it there in that three hour window... but then a few weeks ago you crushed me with no option of guaranteed window delivery. I was angry, but brushed it off - I still wanted to make this work.

But then yesterday I ordered supplies I needed for this morning. You promised they would be delivered between 8am and 10pm yesterday. I was ecstatic - one less errand to run while wearing the baby and wrangling Grace through the aisles filling our basket with things we both know we don't need or want but will get because putting them back requires too much effort. Last night you send me a message saying "We missed you." - Putting the blame on me? I clearly have written leave items on the doorstep - like you have for my previous 187 orders. I reply to customer service - I was home, no one knocked, why wasn't it left? The customer service rep then claims there was a glich, "whoops, sorry... it will be delivered tomorrow sometime between 8am-10pm". I explain I need the items this morning... they offer me a $10 future credit on my $200 purchase that I've already paid for yet haven't received. I reply explaining further, and they send me the exact same canned response as before.

I thought we had something special, GSX. I guess not. Game over. 

Amazon Prime Now- you have my number, see you later :) xoxo